WereWoof by Norm Cowie

Author:Norm Cowie [Cowie, Norm]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-01-11T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 36

“Check it out. I think I figured out a way to defeat a threshold,” Steelers Jersey brandished a tape recorder.

Spiky Hair reluctantly spared him a look. Her attention was on the drama in the corner. “What are you talking about?”

“Okay, think about it. Someone has to invite us past a threshold, right?”

Spiky Hair sighed, “Sure, whatever.”

“Otherwise it’s like a force field or something.”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Then once we’re past the threshold, we’re in.”

Spiky yawned.

Steelers Jersey didn’t let that detract him. “So what we do is use one of these babies.”

She spared him a quick glance. “A tape recorder,” she said dryly.

He grinned, “Right. We record a message.” He lowered his voice to a deep sinister level, and pretended to speak into the recorder, “Oh, Mighty Vampire, you are granted permission to enter this house and gain entry past our threshold.”

She cocked a skeptical eye at him. “That’s your invitation?”

“Yep. Then we hit “play,” toss it in the house and when it invites us in …” He grinned evilly, “… we eat.”

“You invite yourself in?”

“Yep.”

“And you’ve tried this?”

His look faltered. “Well, no, not yet. But it’s flawless.”

She finally gave him her direct attention. “Okay, do it.”

“Do it?”

“Yes. Record your invitation.”

“Um, okay.” He took a deep breath. “Here goes, Oh, Mighty Vampire, you are…”

“You might want to hit ‘record.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” He pressed record. “Oh, Mighty Vampire, you are granted permission to, uh …”

“…enter this house…” she prompted.

“Oh, yeah, enter this house and gain entrance past our threshold.”

He pushed the stop button and grinned in triumph.

Spiky Hair gestured to the tape recorder, “Okay, now play it.”

“Play it?”

“Yes. Like rewind and play.”

“Okay.” With a stubborn look on his face, he did as she suggested. Then he hit the play button.

After a moment of silence, she said, “Well?”

He picked up the recorder with a confused look. “I don’t know what’s wrong. There’s a tape here and it’s spinning.”

“Yes?”

“And, uh …”

She finally took pity on him. “Our voices don’t record.”

“Huh?”

“Vampires. You can’t tape us. It doesn’t work.”

“How did you know that?” he asked.

“Cuz.”

“Cuz why?”

“Okay, Mr. Player. Think about it. When I turned vampire, all of a sudden I got really, really good looking.”

“You’re definitely a boo-ya,” he agreed enthusiastically.

“Even you. You’re good looking. A jerk, maybe, but you’re a good looking jerk. It comes with the territory. We become something enticing to our prey, humans. But we can’t see how we look. We can’t see our reflection in a mirror.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So don’t you think we girls came up with the idea of trying to videotape ourselves? Of trying to record ourselves from our Iphones? We did all that. Nothing works. We can’t record our looks, our voices, nothing.”

“Oh.”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

A sullen look fell over her face.

Steelers Jersey, though just a clueless guy, knew enough not to mess with it. He stood and tucked the tape player under his arm like a football, “Well, look. Thanks for doing this experiment, okay?”

She didn’t look up. “Yeah, whatever,” she mumbled.

He gave her another look, and when she

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